New Zealand Days 3-5

Day 3 - Tour Begins Auckland to Waitomo

Our tour group is scheduled to meet at 11am at the Hotel Mercure in Auckland.  I'm upstairs frantically packing my bags for the bus.  I'm anxious, nervous and excited to meet the 50 plus people who will become my friends and travel buddies over the next 2 and half weeks.  I'm in the elevator heading down watching the floors countdown.  The elevator reaches the bottom floor, doors open, and chaos begins.  It's loud; lots of people, lots of bags, long lines for checking out of the hotel.  This is my first glimpse of my group.  A couple of observations come to mind immediately.  Lots of women and very few blokes.  Did I sign up for an all female tour?  Not that I am complaining. 

Immediately this Aussie guy bumps into me and says, "Hey mate you going on this tour?"  Yes I respond.  "Wow man you are one lucky bloke there's 30 girls on your tour and only 9 guys.  Wish I could sign-up on your tour."  I guess his tour had finished and he was not happy with his ratios.  My thought this is going to be one interesting trip and I'm not complaining.  

Here's the actual breakdown of our tour group:

49 Total people

12 guys

37 girls

80% Australian

20% (Russia, Sweden, England, Austria, Netherlands)

and 1 American (Yep that's me the only American)

So 37 girls, 80% of which are Australian. Damn it!

Our Tour Guide, Bridget, is this spunky, energetic, blonde from Wellington, New Zealand.  I kid you not this woman can talk.  She talked to us for 2 hours straight from the time we left Auckland till we arrived in Waitomo and still had energy.  I want what she is having!

Our Bus Driver Pumba also a kiwi (nicknamed because he has a bit of a gut but according to the women, is lovable and cuddly) runs through the bus rules.  He is a guy very knowledgable about NZ and has a love for the traditions and cultures.  Also he loves in-n-out which makes me a big fan of him already.  

Yep I lucked out our Tour managers rock!  

I'm back in line waiting to check out when I run into this older gentlemen; shaved head, built solid and definitely Australian.  I ask him if he is on our tour and he responds "Yes, and I think I am the oldest one."  I said how old and he responds "32."  I said mate I don't think you're the oldest one, I'm older to which he responds, "Ah no way mate!"  Turns out Brad is from Melbourne, Australia and builds tall buildings and works with steele and big machinery.  Definitely a man's man and we bond instantly as he loves America and is a big Laker fan.  Yes we both agree Kobe is the best player in the NBA.  I like this guy already.

Turns out our tour group is relatively young.  Age ranges 18-35 with my guess that the average age is somewhere around 22-23.  The group is young but energetic and most importantly polite and respectful.  No douche bags believe it or not.  I'm thankful!

We board the bus and head off to Waitomo a town famous for their glow worm caves and a bar owner named Curly who I will explain later in the blog.  Our first excursion black water rafting in glow worm caves.  We arrive at the place and get geared up in full wet suits and helmet flashlights.  Then we head off to the caves.  Once we arrive we hike down into these deep crevices and begin our cave tour.

Black water rafting involves floating on an inner tube in a dark cave which is illuminated by green neon dots which are glow worms.  The glow worms are nothing more than maggots that use their light on their ass to attract mosquitos prey.  The mosquito, attracted by the light gets caught up in their mucous and they reel in their mucous like a spider and slowly devour their mosquito prey.  Digesting the prey helps give them their glow to attract more prey.  The glow worms eventually transform into mosquitos themselves only to die a slow death themselves.  A violent circle of life that plays out beautifully in the epitch black dark of these caves.  A sure highlight of the trip; I loved this tour.

We then headed back to the hotel to have dinner and then have drinks at Curly's bar; the only bar in the town of Waitomo.  Curly the owner of Curly's bar is this crazy old man who reminds me of Wally from Crocodile Dundee.  Curly takes a liking to a couple of girls from Brisbane, Australia on our tour and proceeds to comp them free drinks the rest of the night.  Curly is arguing with a few drunk locals over how many people actually live in Waitomo.  He says 12 people his drunk township friends claim more.  Nevertheless you would think this old man's favorite drink would be beer.  Nope it's Jaeger bombs.  Right?  That's ridiculous this old bar owner from a town of 12 people likes Jaeger mixed with Red Bull?  New Zealanders confuse the shit of me!

Day 4 - Rotorua

We had an early bus time departure at 7:15 am which was difficult given Curly's insistence on feeding us Jaeger bombs on the house from the previous night.  

We loaded the bus and headed out to Rotorua where the first day's activities had us going to the Agrodome Theme Park which was a bona fide sheep show complete with a crazy sheep farmer who I'll call Vin Diesel because the guy looked like his lost brother.  They brought us to this auditorium that seated roughly 300 people 200 of which were a very enthusiastic Korean Tour group who cheered at every little thing.  Quite entertaining.  During the show they taught about how quickly the sheep cutters can sheer an entire sheep.  The record in New Zealand I believe was 17 seconds.  

After the sheep show completed they took us out to this large green field and demonstrated how the sheep dogs (a cross bred collie) could drive a herd of over 200 sheep.  Pretty impressive stuff.  The sheep industry is huge in New Zealand and they taught us about the quality of their wool.  My guess is there is so much damn grass in this country that you need something to eat it.  New Zealand is very green.

Following the show we boarded the bus for Zorbing.  For those not familiar, Zorbing is where they put you into a giant inflatable hamster ball and roll you down a mountain.  You can either be strapped into a seat or be free with water inside the ball to keep you spinning around in there.  Of course I choose the water option.  Now what they do is drive you to the top of this hill where the hamster balls await your entry.  Once we got to the top the guy fills the inside of the ball with a few gallons of water.  The key being "Hot Water" it felt like being in a jacuzzi and was awesome because it was kind of a chilly day.  A couple seconds later they push you and off you go down the mountain for a 90 second ride down the hill. The ride down the hill was ridiculous.  It felt like being on a water slide but not knowing which way was up or down.  At times l felt the horizon was where my feet were and visa versa.  Needless to say it was AWESOME!

Now for the funny part.  After the ride is over you have to get out of the ball through a tiny exit hole.  As you come out of this tiny hole you are covered in slimy water and lubricant.  They call this your "re-birth".  Is this what it felt like when I was born?  It kind of reminded me of the matrix when Keanu Reeves is awaken from being in the matrix in his pod and disposed of.  Check out the picture..

Next it was off to the Skyline Gondola and Luge rides.   When we arrived the place was a madhouse with tons of people from all over the world.  Who knew the Luge would be so popular.  Anyways our tour group was able to cut the line.  Yes Bridget has her connections.  Headed the Gondola took us to the top of the mountain overlooking Lake Rotorua.  Amazing views reminded me of being at heavenly in Lake Tahoe, except in NZ it was summer.  On the ride up I challenged Cassia, an Aussie from South Australia who is a governess (essentially she teaches children, 3 of them, on a ranch or as she calls it a station).  The wager a cold beer afterwards.  So I got on my luge first and started heading down the mountain a 100 yards but then stopped to make sure it was a fair race.  At that point in time Cassia goes flying by does not stop and I have to play catchup the rest of the run.  Needless to say she is a speed demon and I'm down a cold Steinlager (NZ's equivalent of a Budweiser).

You would think that would be it but no this tour really likes to cram things in.  We headed off to this tribal thermal village called Whakarewarewa pronounced (fucka-day-wah-day-wah).  I'm not kidding, this village's name has been the running joke of the tour.  The Maori own the lands and the tour was led by a local villager who explained how the tribe uses the geothermal activity to cook, bathe, and revitalize.  They showed us this one pool where they cook potatoes, clams, crab and lobster.  They control the temperature by how far down they submerse the food.  The lower you go the hotter it is.  Clam bake anyone?  They also use the steam coming from the geothermals as a covection oven for their meats.  Pretty interesting tour learning about their culture and how they use mother nature to cook.  

That evening we attended a dinner show along with about 50 other tourists at our hotel where the native people, the Maori, put on a show to demonstrate some of the traditions of their people.  The Maori remind me of a cross between Somoan and Polynesian.  If you don't know either think native Hawaiian.  They have dark features and are built like an Ox.  Surprisingly enough I was chosen out of the entire group to participate in the ceremony and play the role of Chief.  The ceremony started with the Maori warrior coming on stage to challenge me in a fighting posture.  When he sees I mean no harm he lays a branch on the ground as a peace offering.  I pick up the branch and walk backwards signifying I come in peace along with the 100 other guests attending the dinner.  He accepts my gesture and now I must greet each of the tribe women on stage with at traditional Maori greeting called the Hongi.  The Hongi involves shaking the hand of each woman and then touching the tip of your nose with their nose twice.  I did this greeting with about 6 women who were onstage.  

Once that was complete the rest of the performance began which involved traditional singing, dancing, and even juggling.  They called up all the men onstage and taught us the Haka dance.  A dance that the Maori warriors used to intimidate rival tribes before going into battle.  You see this similar dance with football teams like the University of Hawaii who have a lot of Polynesian players.  Needless to say we were not that intimidating.  If anything it would encourage our enemies to attack us!  I was touched to have been part of the ceremony.  Thanks Bridget for nominating me!

Day 5 Taupo

Bright and early we hit the road for Lake Taupo stopping along the way at the Geo Thermal grounds where we saw more volcanic activity of boiling mud pools, geysers, and hot pools.

We then hopped back on the bus and headed for our first activity Rock'n Ropes, owned by this crazy Kiwi named Glen.  As we pulled up to the course on the bus I literally shit in my pants at the sight of tight ropes, obstacles, logs, and drawbridges suspended 60 feet in the air. "Hell no I'm not doing this!!  For those that don't know I have always had this fear of heights and the thought of being on a tight rope 60 feet in the air terrified me.  However, I am in New Zealand which is world renown for its adventure/adrenaline sports so I had to buck up and do it.  When Glen greeted us, my immediate thought was Bridget's description of Glen was to the T.  Glen is a man's man rough around the edges, leathery skin, and down right politically incorrect but hilarious.  He has a strong Kiwi accent and I'd be lying if I said I couldn't tell the difference between him and crocodile dundee.  I think Kiwi's and Aussie's sound very similar.  My tour friends would completely disagree.   As we got off the bus Glen's dog ran circles around us at which point he said "Alright mates that's my drug dog, and any drugs he finds will be mine for safe keeping".  Shit I was going to trust my life with this guy.  What am I doing?  

Anyways Glen had a few simple rules listen to his instructions and if you start climbing up a pole you have no choice but to finish climbing the pole and complete the obstacle.  If you chose to stop half way up the pole Glen said "I will climb up there me self and cattle prod you in the ass until you finish the course".  This guy is ridiculous!  Glen then asked, "Alright who in the group is afraid of heights?".  I stupidly raised my hand thinking Glen would go easy on me.  He then says with an evil smile on his face "Perfect you fella from the USA you'll go first on the 3 line tight rope!".  Damn it, what had I done!  So I climb the equivalent of a telephone pole, 60 feet in the air.  Heart is pounding, knuckles are white, I WANT TO GO HOME!  At the top, it felt like I was 120 feet in the air thanks to that wonderful illusion of seeming higher than you really are.  So I start out on the tight rope which felt like the size of dental floss.  I had an additional two ropes shoulder height on either side to help me maintain balance.  I walk out there and immediately I'm wobbling all over the place and looked like gumby on a tight rope.  All the muscles in the world were not helping on this one.  Then I hear 60 feet below, "Hey USA spread your arms out wide and that will help, damn Americans they never listen!".  Glen's instructions made all the difference and I made it across to the other pole and was then was lowered down via ropes below.  

Im done no more obstacles!  Of course there were others to get through and I did, but the craziest obstacle of all, the one where my heart skipped a beat, was called the "Leap Of Faith" onto a trapeze bar.  It involved climbing up a single telephone sized pole standing on top of the pole (a tiny 1.5 feet by 1.5 feet) and jumping from that pole onto a trapeze bar suspended 3 feet away which seemed more like 6 feet.  Catch the Trapeze and you were lowered down gently.  Miss the Trapeze bar and you experience a dramatic fall slowed down right before you reach the ground.  Again, what the hell am I doing?  Some people caught it and some missed it completely.  So I climb up this pole which seemed extremely wobbly and stood at the top of it.  My heart was pounding and I jumped.  Did I make it?  Check out the video:

Rock'n Ropes was a fantastic experience for me and helped me to conquer some fears I have had for a long time.  I will miss Glen and his crazy sense of humor and less than traditional motivational tactics!

That evening our tour group went on a dinner/party boat cruise on Lake Taupo.  We were given a theme for this party and told we had to come in costume dressed up as something that starts with B (For Bridget our tour guide) or P (For Pumbah our bus driver).  There were princesses, butterflies, pirates, police officers, a pimp, and a pippy long-stockings.  I went as Bon Jovi.  Yes I decided to resurrect my Bon Jovi character from my All Analyst Karaoke contest complete with tattoos, bandana and cowboy hat.  It was crazy fun!  we ate, danced, sung and drank the night away on beautiful Lake Taupo.  Lake Taupo is the largest freshwater lake in the Southern Hemisphere at 620 sq/km.  It is a giant crater that became a lake several thousand years ago after many volcanic eruptions.  Check out the pictures and enjoy!